A long, long Barguments radio spot

Allan Handleman, perhaps the No. 1 friend of Barguments out there (second only to Paul and Young Ron), recently had me on his radio show in North Carolina for two hours. What a sport, especially as I delivered clunker jokes to dead air.

Click here to listen. It seems longer when it's not live.

A cleaned-up barguments.com

There's a new protocol at barguments.com, with the "best" barguments spread out over the first four pages with the most recent barguments.

How we at barguments.com decide the best barguments? That's a bargument in itself.

It's all based on an algorithm that ranks the various components of the bargument's performance on the site. First, how close is the vote? The narrower the spread, the more points. Next: the votes themselves. A close bargument with 1,200 votes gets more points than a tied bargument after 80 votes.

But how to judge the rest? As it's set up now, a bargument with a large number of thumbs-up votes and just a few thumbs-down gets a very high score. Having a lot of comments helps, but not as much as the thumbs ranking.

That was the toughest decision when it came to bargument scoring. Because really, the comments are what barguments are all about -- people actually diving into the bargument and making their case.

Submarine versus Prison

One bargument on the site I thought would be a sure hit but is actually very lopsided is this one:

Would you rather spend a year on a submarine or a year in prison?

Submarine is winning in a runaway, 77 percent to 23 percent. But I would go with prison.

I'm not sure people are really grasping life in a sub: you're in this cramped tube 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, never seeing the sun, or getting outside or having any hope of leaving. Prison, you've got the mess hall and the yard and visitors... Sharing a cell and an open-air toilet with someone WOULD be rough, and there's the occasional shivving and worse...

But I think I'd go insane quicker on a sub. If I had to pick life in prison or life in a sub, I'd go with a sub.

Duke v. Carolina

Matthew called into the Alan Handelman show just a second ago (I'm still on the air while typing this) and gave a great Bargument:

What's the best rivalry in sports?

Matthew picked the headline match-up in basketball.

(By the way, no one is getting my jokes on this show. Someone called in to say the David Spade commercial where he's inserted into a Tommy Boy scene with Chris Farley was the worst commercial on tv. I said: Remember, David Spade leeched off Farley throughout his career, why not in death? SILENCE.)

To Paul and Young Ron Listeners

The answer you seek is on Page 87... You CAN win...

Shaping young minds...

The sports show for a high school video channel borrows a bargument for a commercial. The borrowing starts at :15.

Not the best banter ever captured on You Tube, but one of only two searches that pops up for "bargument" on the site, so we're a fan.

"Instant conversation starter"

So says the guys at this radio station, which had some fun with barguments.com the other day. Lots of traffic to the site, so thanks guys.

Read the feed here.